(To be fair, i asked him to send me bad jokes.)
Here are some comments made by sports commentators that I'm sure they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event:
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:
"This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Grand Prix Race Announcer:
"The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it
which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."
4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer:
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
5. Ringside Boxing Analyst:
"Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of
them really that serious."
6. Baseball announcer:
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
7. Basketball analyst:
"He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see
it all over their faces."
8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988:
"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."
9. Metro Radio, College Football:
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
10. US Open TV Commentator:
"One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each
final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them." " Oh my God, what have I just said?"
these make me giggle
Posted by: dietsch at January 22, 2004 04:03 PMi KNOW. We are white trash, i fear. That's OK, though, it is more fun anyway.
Posted by: sciencegrrl at January 22, 2004 04:48 PMOoh, some of these attributions are a bit dodgy!
These are culled from a column called Colemanballs in the British satire magazine 'Private Eye' (the column's named after David Coleman, who was a famously error-prone TV sport commentator). The one about Julian Dicks is definitely not from college football — Dicks was the captain of the club I support, West Ham Utd, and he never played college football in his life.
I strongly suspect that if he ever met a student, he would have eaten them.
Another commentator at the Boat Race once noted that after the race, it's traditional for the winning team to plung their cox into the river in celebration.
Some David Coleman classics:
"And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago"
"There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes."
"She's not Ben Johnson - but then who is?"
And some from the best sporting language-mangler in the business, Ron Atkinson:
"They've picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders"
"Moreano thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard"
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat"
Posted by: Stu N at January 23, 2004 11:51 AMApropos of nothing at all, Captain Kangaroo has died.
I'm actually a little teary.
Posted by: Dietschy at January 23, 2004 03:07 PMWhat!?! The Cap'n? As in Bob Keeshan? Clarabelle the clown? Noooooo!
That sucks more than i can express.
Posted by: sciencegrrl at January 23, 2004 07:01 PMHeh, Stu, those are really funny. Which i need after the Captain Kangaroo news.
Stupid sportscasters. i do not know how people watch sports with the sound on, really. My standards for citation accuracy are very low when it comes to my internet humor, i guess. hee. i will forward those back to Mikey.
Posted by: sciencegrrl at January 23, 2004 07:04 PM