August 28, 2004
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June 15, 2004
Tickle me, Elmo
The person who sent these is appropriately contrite, i assure you:A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 0800.
The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Bartender and the Ducks
The bartender was surprised, but experienced, and had learned not to ask people about animals they bring into the bar, so when a man walked in with three ducks, he made no reference to them. They chatted for about a half hour before the man had to go to the restroom, leaving the ducks on the bar. The bartender was alone with the ducks and there was an awkward silence as they all looked at one another. Finally, the bartender decided to break the ice and try to make a little conversation."Say, what's your name?" he asked the first duck.
"Huey," replied the first duck.
June 09, 2004
May 12, 2004
STAPLERFAHRERKLAUS
| STAPLERFAHRERKLAUS (Forklift Driver Klaus) Priceless. Accurately described as "the German Dead Alive". The Official Site has its charms, including the character names on the credits. Thanks to Dan Evans and Sk8. |  |
February 29, 2004
February 10, 2004
Antidote
From, of course, Mikey:
A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."
She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card that said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and you are going to Chicago, Illinois."
Continue reading "Antidote"January 21, 2004
From My Friend Mikey
(To be fair, i asked him to send me bad jokes.)
Here are some comments made by sports commentators that I'm sure they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event:
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:
"This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."